One Year Later

I can't believe Violet has been here for a year (a little over at this point). I will never forget the evening we found out we were pregnant. School had just started, I was teaching 1st Grade at East End Elementary at the time, and I was EXHAUSTED! I figured it was probably just the beginning of the school year wearing me out but something inside me was suspicious! On Thursday evening around 5:30pm we took a pregnancy test and there was a very faint positive sign. We were both in shock but I had to leave immediately and go to Open House at school. I was numb the entire evening and left as soon as I could. On the way home I began to cry and then I thought of all of the people who would love to have a baby, how could I be upset that for some reason God had decided to give us a precious child to raise.
We spent the next 8 months preparing for the arrival of our little girl! On Sunday, April 13, 2008 my mom called around 7am to tell us that my Mema (her mom) had passed away earlier that morning. We were expecting it and we had all been able to spend time with her during the last few days. I hadn't slept well that night so I stayed home from church while Steve and Veronika went on to church. I woke up around 10:30am and went to the bathroom and discovered that I was leaking amniotic fluid. I texted Steve at church and he came home, thankfully Paula was able to keep Veronika. We headed to the hospital and as I was getting out of the van my water broke! I didn't hear a pop or feel anything, I was just suddenly very warm and wet! I mean soaked, like I had seriously peed ALL OVER MYSELF! (Steve later told me that until that moment he figured I had just peed on myself that morning and was overreacting!) We made our way to L&D and by the time we were settled in Mom and Dad arrived. I won't go into all the details but everyone who was involved knows it was a LOOONG 32 hours that followed! I could not have done it without all the support of my family. Steve was AMAZING, he left my side once to grab a cheeseburger and unload the van. He rubbed my back and took wonderful care of me. My mom, Amanda and Paula were our birthing team...the only thing they didn't do was actually deliver Violet. Seriously, while I was pushing my nurses were standing to the side watching! On Monday, April 14, 2008 Dr. Deed came in to check me around 5:30pm...I could finally start pushing! Almost exactly 2 hours later Paula said, "Look down and see your baby!" She had FINALLY arrived, after Dr. Deed had delivered her head and one shoulder her Daddy had been able to catch her. They laid her on my stomach and I was in love! They took her and cleaned her up, she weighed 7 lbs. 14oz. and was 20 in. long, absolutely perfect! When they brought her to me again I just remember saying, "My baby girl! I love you!" Her Daddy, Dodi, Aunt Amanda, and Aunt Paula were all there to greet her. A few minutes later Veronika, my Dad, Brad, Jackson and Tucker all got to come meet her. I remember Veronika saying, "She's so cute!" over and over. Because of my Mema's death so much of Violet's family were able to meet her that first night. My Aunt Ann (Violet is named after her) and Uncle Dan and the entire "Louisiana" gang got to come see her as well as my cousins Amber and Dustin.
This past year has changed my life completely. It has come with some terrible heartbreak but incredible joy. We are so blessed. I am able to stay at home and take care of our family. I have been able to spend everyday with my baby girl and experience all of her "firsts." I cannot put into words the joy that overflows when I see our girls together. Veronika is so caring and truly adores her baby sister. Violet thinks that her Sissy is the best thing in the world and is thrilled everytime she sees her! I love to watch them when we see Steve's truck coming down the road. Violet will stand at the screen door and shriek when I tell her that Daddy is home. I treasure each and every day I have with these three people that have transformed my life. I don't want to take them for granted or look back one day and wish that I had enjoyed them more. I made a decision when Violet was born to really relish each day and I did. I put housework and chores aside to enjoy my baby and yet time still flew by.
This July we will welcome our son, Phoenix Logan. I cannot wait to experience childbirth again, to meet him and fall in love all over again. I look forward to those first few weeks when you are so exhausted that you barely function. In the midst of it you feel like it will never end, you cry for no reason, your hormones are all over the map; yet in reality those days are so short and when they are over they are gone forever. I look forward to seeing the girls when they meet their baby brother and our family is made complete. I know that these days are the "good ole' days" life is simple, our babies are at home with us, they are young enough that we aren't running in circles trying to keep up with activities. We spend our evenings playing outside with Jackson and Tucker or swinging on the swingset.
My life is not necessarily neat and tidy... we only have Veronika 50% of the time but we treasure the time we have with her. Our marriage is not perfect, it never has been and never will be, but we love each other and are commited to making us and our family stronger. We are certainly not perfect parents, but we love our kids and want what is best for them. Through life's ups and downs I know that we will be OK as long as God is at the head of our family. He has blessed us beyond measure and I am so thankful for the life that He has given us!